because i’ve thought about it. because i haven’t yet had the perfect pizza. because there’s still enough peanut butter left to satisfy that specific, demanding tastebud that without warning some nights is like, “smooth, creamy, salty, peanut buttery flavor NOW!” because even if it doesn’t always make sense to me, I’ve seen the happiness in someone else’s eyes when they see me; it works best when it’s unexpected. and vice versa. because I’ve been the happiness evolved from a puddle when I’ve seen someone else enter my peripheral. because who am I to deny either of us of that satisfaction. because there’s still plenty of nights waiting to carry me into morning. because there are no end credits. because I haven’t yet done much with all this potential and I’m really hoping to get around to that. because i haven’t yet climbed a real mountain or built a house or raised a child or learned to play an instrument. because this beard isn’t going to grow itself. because i once shaved my back and thought, man even if I never feel fully comfortable in this skin I’m going to have a real good time trying to figure it out. because I know it might be really fucking difficult to see it or feel it most days but there is a reason why the tears well-up in your eyes when you are met with the truth—we are worth more than having to second guess our own emotions. because there’s a sip of whiskey, a bonfire, a homemade blanket, a hug waiting to keep me warm. because there’s still so many birthdays and slow dances and good books and dessert tables. because i still haven’t visited Marfa. because there’s always room for another road trip. because I need to witness more sunrises. because it’s too early. because I have not yet fully realized who I am. because I’ve done enough selfish things with this life. because I have more to give. because I need to experience more moments that knock the words out of my mouth. because I’ve been loved and unloved and broken and I’ve been everywhere on the spectrum between happy and sad and I still want to feel it all again. because perspective. because bacon. because silence and stillness and breath. because there’s still a chance. because I want to be there when you need my hand or my voice or my shoulder. because I want to be alive when I come out to you and I want to mean that in every way possible. because I have not yet fully loved myself. because pinball machines and kaleidoscopes and trampolines and sky dives and hot dogs and dance floors and those moments right before the first kiss. because I’ve thought about it and nobody anywhere is ever going to understand completely how difficult this was or how hard you fought or how much effort it took or how good it felt or how much you thrived or how rewarding it was or how much it meant or how strong you were or how funny it was or how you really really gave it your everything—unless you’re here to tell them.